This Monday, I came into the office a bit early. It was quiet, with only a dozen or so early birds at their desks working on all sorts of unannounced projects. Needing to catch up on work, I naturally spent the first 20 minutes reorganizing the various amount of Halo figures, plushies, and limited edition trinkets on my desk in to the perfect arrangement. Then I finally headed into the kitchen to get a morning cup of tea. That’s when it happened.
I hear a pretty loud “THUD!” behind me, and turn to a co-worker to find out where the noise came from. Our eyes gravitate toward the refrigerators that house a variety of beverages that keep 343’ers quenched throughout the day. Frozen sodas were splatted across the glass. Initially, this gave me an extreme craving for a Slush Puppie, but I then realized that a soda had violently exploded and that we might have an issue on our hands. I walked over to the refrigerator and saw something I may never forget.
Throughout the entire fridge, several dozen kamikaze sodas had already exploded, leaving tasty, frozen carbonated slush and jagged-edged soda-can-shrapnel all over the place. Seconds later, another exploded and sent the neatly stacked Coke Zeroes into a domino-like tumble. At this point, I realized the studio was in extreme danger, and took the necessary precautions to keep everyone safe.
What I’m trying to say is that I made a sign. Two signs, actually.
About a minute or two after making these very serious signs, a team member from the Halo Waypoint web team approached the fridge, and I cautioned them to not open it. Seconds later, another “THUD!” was heard as another self-destructive soda came flying at the glass. We looked at each other for a moment. Did I save his life? Yes. Did I save many lives that morning? Probably. Am I a hero? No. The real hero is the refrigerator maintenance man who bravely, without any tactical gear, let alone facial or cranial protection, exposed himself to extreme danger as he emptied the fridge out one explosive can at a time.
Lesson: If you want colder soda, don’t turn the temperature down. That turns the fridge into a vicious life-threatening machine. Use ice cubes.
This week we’ve got a lighter Bulletin, but a few things to talk about. Let’s get into it.